Las Tontas No Van a Cielo...

...but I wish they would already. What a drag this show turned out to be. A zillion and one characters and storylines going nowhere fast -- I mean slow. Month after month of Candi grinning in every scene except the ones where she cries. She's good at crying and should stick to that.

The one redeeming factor is Patricio. Valentino Lanus is now one of my favorite telenovela stars. He's made a potentially tedious character very endearing. Actually, most of the cast is pretty good.

It's just the show that's awful. It makes Duelo de Pasiones look like Shakespeare. Well, not really, but I feel like saying it anyway. Bad, bad, bad writing on Las Tontas Go Around in Pointless Circles With Frequent Detours Into Dead Ends. BAD! MUY MAL!

To pass the time while the show drones on, my family has taken to thinking up nicknames for whiny Lucia. We took a vote and she was dubbed Losercia. Her middle name is Mizerally because she's so miserable. We may start thinking up nicknames for Candi next.

Go away, Las Tontas. Come back, Duelo de Pasiones. All is forgiven! (Well, not really.)

(Btw, I ended up enjoying "Querida Enemiga" very much. Early on I called it vanilla, but I forgot that vanilla is my favorite ice cream flavor, and it seems I like vanilla telenovelas too.)

In my dreams

I have been enjoying "Querida Enemiga," but was surprised to have a dream last night about Ernesto, the new love interest for heroine Lorena.

On the show Ernesto is a (very attractive) chef and cooking teacher. In my dream, I was walking to school and was surprised to see that Ernesto was the crossing guard. I wondered, "Why are they making him do this? He's my English teacher!" (Yes, English, not Spanish. Don't ask me.)

Then I went into the school and saw him mopping the floor. Poor guy. That school was really taking advantage of him.

If I'm going to dream about Ernesto, you'd think I could do a bit better than that, but that was the whole dream.

I have no idea what the dream meant. But Ernesto -- aka whatever-the-actor's-real-name is -- is welcome to teach me English anytime.

Lyrics to "Querida Enemiga" theme song

I like trying to translate the lyrics to telenovela theme songs, and fortunately the theme to "Querida Enemiga" is pretty easy to understand. It also fits the show very well.

They original Spanish lyrics are here. And here's my attempt to translate the song into English:

She Has Robbed You

She lies,
I don't want to hurt you
I love you like no one
And I don't want to separate from you.
She lies
It's not true that I've forgotten you
I'll always be on your side, although they try to move you away from me.

If her voice has confused you
With all this love I ask you
Feel what we are you and I.

She has stolen the happiness that was in your heart
She has taken from my life
Your caresses and the force of this love
She really is your enemy
It's hidden in your pain [or, she's behind your pain?]
Don't pay attention to what she says
Only listen to your heart.

If I got something wrong, please tell me so!

After two months...

... maybe I should post something. I am still watching whatever's on the 7 PM ET Univision time slot, and right now that's "Querida Enemiga." It's not the most exciting show, but it's pleasant and it's growing on me.

The heroine, Lorena, is likeable, and the villain, Sara, is hateable. In fact, she gives me the creeps. I've known someone like Sara (although, fortunately, the real person was not as smart as Sara), so I find the character plausible enough.

I especially like Hortensia, a good believable villain with a few dim streaks of humanity (well, maybe specks rather than streaks), and I think the actress plays her perfectly. I also think the actor playing Jaime is doing a great job. Oh, and Arturo is another good villain.

There aren't enough good-looking men on this show. Alonso and Julian should take their shirts off more, that would help. Dario is good-looking but not very likeable.

The "humor" on the show falls very flat. They keep playing comical music to tell us that we're supposed to laugh. Too bad it's usually not funny.

About Omar and Zulema... I know they are supposed to be wonderful people and wonderful parents, but they haven't spent a lot of time getting to know their supposed long-lost daughter, have they? "Mi hija! How I have missed you! Of course you will move in. Here's your bed... Hmm, how strange that I do not feel close to my hija I have only exchanged 15 words with." Zulema has made some efforts to connect with Sara, but Omar pretty much ignores her. Omar is kind of clueless all around for a guy who's supposed to be so wonderful. I find myself liking Jaime more.

Well, it's not fantastically written like "Piel de Otono" or fanastically directed like "Heridas de Amor"; it doesn't have an amazing lead character and great music like "Juan Querendon"; it's not even idiotic yet addictive like "Peregrina" and "Duelo de Pasiones." It's a very vanilla telenovela. But even a vanilla telenovela is better than no telenovela, so I'm watching it. And liking it.